How to Ride Japanese Style

Friend Shawn DaSilva, who lives in Japan, sent me a copy of the Japanese Bicycle Bible. It includes a section about how to ride a fixed gear. I can't help but wonder what this would look like if it featured the inimitable Tony Fast instead of this guy. I think everyone should learn how to knock their teeth out on the handlebars, crash head first over parking blocks, have their balls sucked into the frame, bust their seat with their ass, and get attacked by drunken pedestrians.

One of you bilingual types needs to translate some of this stuff for us...